Don't run for president if you suck
Boomers ruin our world
Stop supporting Joe Biden
No explanation is needed here. Literally just stop. If you need further clarification go to wikipedia.org/joebiden or whatever it is and tell me again why this guy should be president. That might not be the right link, trust me I don’t care. I’m glad he has lots of experience, but having lots of experience of being a shitty senator followed by being a figurehead doesn’t make you a better candidate.
How anyone who has that record, and will be in his 80’s during his presidency, can poll at almost 40% in this crowded of a primary is beyond me. Alas, what do I know, I’m not a boomer.
I’m also a firm believer in what I have now decided to call the, “three runs and you’re out policy.” Where if you’ve run for president 3 times and failed miserably all three times you’re constitutionally barred from trying again because you’re annoying me. I’m sure this will easily pass a constitutional convention and spell the doom of Biden, Rocky De La Fuente, John Kasich, and others from running.
At least I’m not calling for the disenfranchisement of boomers. Maybe in another edition.
Why we should have 37 states
While I’m putting out proposals for grandiose ideas I have an even better one. Cut down the country to 37 states. This is a bit far fetched, but hear me out, 13 states are literally too stupid to be considered states. If your state is one of the 13 that hasn’t expanded Medicaid I hate to tell you, but you’ve lost your, “should be a state,” privileges.
The federal government pays 90% of the cost of a state expanding medicaid recipients to those below 138% of the federal poverty guideline. So in other words, the federal government is paying almost all related expenses of covering poverty stricken people’s healthcare. Why wouldn’t you take the free money.
Oh, that’s right, you’re a conservative who doesn’t want big worshington telling you what to do. So you decide to screw your own people because they can chill while you play partisan games. Expand medicaid, start helping people, and listen to your constituents who overwhelmingly support it.
Please don’t go to war with Iran
I’m sure John Bolton reads my humble newsletter so I’m asking you sir please don’t make us go to war with Iran. I just finished college and I have a job lined up and I don’t feel like getting drafted to go fight another pointless war over a black syrup.
This is a very mild take as who the hell would support a war with Iran outside of the Chief Hawks in DC, but the recent pregaming (this is what I will now forever call the war planning they do) showing 120,000 soldiers going into Iran is awful.
We all know who Bolton and Co. are and what they want, but I really just want to go to Cheeseville and have some curds. I don’t even know if they have milk and cheese in Iran, not going to bother looking it up. Anyways, don’t draft me.
Trivia
Wednesday at Pastimes Pub Worthington (*not Crosswoods) where we will be defending our 2-week winning streak.
Have a cheese filled day. I think I’m getting a tuna melt for lunch.