I’m back with yet another entirely predictable newsletter, where we’ve now hit 40 subscribers. That’s almost enough for me to go back to elementary school and tell the teachers who told me I wouldn’t be successful, “I told you so.” So keep up the great work of not having clicked the unsubscribe button yet.
If you’re feeling really generous, feel free to share this little newsletter with a friend or a parent or something, I’ve decided to allow more people to hear my voice.
Menace to Society
I wanted to make this subheading ambiguous so you have to think about who I could be talking about. Your first thought should definitely have gone to someone in the Trump administration, and if so good job. Next narrow that down further, who’s the worst of the secretaries. This is tough, but you should be able to figure this out if you know me.
If you do, you know I spent all but 1 year of my formal education in public school, and I am anti-pyramid scheme and anti-mercenary. [Editor’s Note: That one year was kindergarten in the Columbus Jewish Day School, never again.] That’s right, today’s Official Menace to Society® is none other than Secretary of Education Betsy DeVos.

Holy shit this picture is horrifying
Obviously she’s in the news today and I’ll go into that later, but first I wanted to highlight how truly godawful she is. If you didn’t know, she is quite possibly part of the all-around worst family in America:
Betsy- Noted public school hater, school choice advocate (dumb), Michigan RNC chair (terrible), incompetent unqualified nincompoop
Her husband Dick- Former CEO of pyramid scheme Amway (terrible)
Her brother Erik- War Criminal. Founder and former-CEO of Blackwater. Literally founded a group of mercenaries who have perpetrated mass war crimes. (beyond terrible)
Her father Edgar- Largest funder of the Family Research Council, who are in the news for trying to remove rape and incest restrictions from abortion laws. On top of being disgusting and blatantly anti LGBTQ rights. (terrible)
If I had to chose one family to send on a one-way mission to blast into the sun it’d be every member of the DeVos family. I can’t think of a family worse than a pyramid-scheme pushing, war criminal, conversion therapy supporting family. Not even my favorite state legislator (not saying his name in 3 straight newsletters) is worse.
Anyways back to Betsy.
Last week she visited a public school. I’m sure this must’ve been torture for her, but she went to San Diego and did it. Now it turns out that she instructed the school not to tell parents or publicize this whatsoever. This might seem like a mild issue, and you’re right but I really just wanted to highlight how terrible her and her family is.
Betsy knew that they couldn’t publicize her visit because of the fact that there would have been mass-protests. Hell, I’d drive a maximum of 4 hours just to protest her terrible self if she visited anywhere nearby.
It’s probably not a good thing to have a nationally hated Secretary of Education, and despite his faults I don't think mentioning Arne Duncan (Sec of Ed under President Obama) here would elicit a strong response from anyone. No Secretary of Education should be too scared of protests to visit a school, and if we had a even mildly competent one this wouldn’t be an issue.
I could go into another 1,000 words here about why Betsy is a also a menace for effectively dismantling the Public Service Loan Forgiveness program, which she hates. But, instead, I’ll just link you to this much better explainer by Luke at Hell World.
A short break from politics
Recently, I’ve come up with a grandiose and brilliant idea, banning every single petition website in existence. I have no clue how to do this but I assure you I will pray for it every evening. The days of seeing news headlines like, “1 million people petition game of thrones to be better,” will cease to exist.
Please stop highlighting upset people who press buttons because they’re mad about swordey fightey tv show.
It’s great that people think clicking a button and typing their name on a website will make a difference, and sometimes I’m sure it does. If you can create change, do it, but these websites most of the time are just give the illusion of giving a shit and doing something.
If you actually want change get out and protest, call your representatives (yes I know this really doesn’t do much), and vote. If you’re that mad over a TV show, I don’t know email HBO or something. If you’re doing all of those already, good for you, but unfortunately too many people’s anger is placated solely by petition signing. This rant is legit, as it comes from the successful author of a school bathroom break petition in 12th grade. Will never sign one of those again.
Circling Back
If you can remember far back within the Betsy DeVos section I mentioned her father’s funding of the Family Research Council, and I hope you remember that. I wanted to touch on them a bit more on them because of how disgusting they actually are. They’re led by a guy named Tony Perkins, I linked his GLAAD bio up above, but here’s it again for safe measure.

Now Tony here runs the organization, and saying it’s problematic is a drastic understatement. Despite doing the aforementioned like protesting rape and incest abortion exemptions, supporting gay conversion therapy, and way more, he also covered up sexual harassment and abuse.
This is where we see who this guy really is and wheel back to Ohio, Perkins covered up for no other than disgraced former Ohio State Rep. Wes Goodman. When a 18 year old’s step-father reported to him that Goodman sexually assaulted him in his hotel room bed Perkins told them he’d take care of it. He didn’t. He covered it up, and lied repeatedly.
I don’t want to go that much more into it now, Goodman is a topic for another newsletter, or perhaps never. I know and worked with him and don’t doubt for a second this is all true. Overall, this is just a reminder of how messed up American conservatism is. Don’t forget who the other side is, they don’t even try to hid it anymore.
On that cheerful note.
Trivia
Another day another dub, as we prevailed at Pastimes Pub in Worthington. There was no winning question as the team got it wrong (shocking.) Back at it tonight at District PourHouse 8-10 as always.
Have a good weekend.