On Forgiveness, and Finding the Line

Punishments and cancellation aren't mutually exclusive

I’ve followed the latest University of Michigan anti-Semitic incident with rapt attention. Sure part of that is being an Ohio State alumnus who hates our bitter rival, but it also seemed off and painfully guarded.

This latest one is a doozy, a student athlete spray painting homophobic slurs on the sidewalk of a Jewish center on campus, accompanied by a smiling accomplice who coincidentally is also a student athlete.

It also is just incredibly odd, all-around, and should cause us to naturally ask questions. Nobody, despite being very obviously caught on camera, was charged in the incident. Despite the incident occurring in August it took till late September for anyone to be publicly identified. As of Sept. 17th there was no university correspondence indicating a punishment for either student athlete perpetrator.

It’s weird, right? It took till October 3rd for The Michigan Daily, the student newspaper, to confirm the names of the student athletes. Other outlets haven’t notably, The Detroit Free Press only named one athlete in their report.

Reading more it seems clear why the Director of the “Jewish Resource Center,” the building vandalized, declined to press charges. The Michigan Daily goes much further into this in their reporting:

The JRC declined to press charges against the two student-athletes. Rabbi Mendy Klahr of the JRC shared that the JRC was informed, through lawyers for the students, that the pair wanted to meet with the JRC. According to Klahr, by the time the students met with the JRC, Michigan had already been made aware of the incident.

“We believe in second chances,” Klahr said. “We don’t just cancel people.”

Klahr went on to explain that Judaism places emphasis on forgiveness. Especially with the Jewish High Holidays and Yom Kippur — the Jewish Day of Atonement — approaching as the aftermath of the graffiti was unfolding, Klahr said he felt it was important for the JRC to provide the students with a chance to apologize.

“I think the way to fix it, specifically in this specific case, is not to say, ‘Oh, let’s go after them, destroy their life or something like that.’ ” Klahr told The Daily. “It’s, ‘Let’s show them why it’s a mistake. And let’s let them grow from it. Let’s let them be better people.’ ”

I’m quoting the student paper here because my attempts to reach the Rabbi have seemingly fallen on deaf ears. And that’s not really a surprise, he doesn’t seem to want anything more to come of the situation.

He also weaves in Jewish thought here, that the days of atonement are all about forgiveness. Which, well, they are.

But that’s the fundamental problem, there’s a difference between forgiveness and punishment. You can forgive someone, allow them to be better people, and still allow them to be punished for their actions.

By shying away from punishment, allowing them instead to, as reported by The Daily Michigan, apologize to hundreds of students at a Shabbat dinner you send a different kind of message. One of two.

The first, that blatant acts of homophobia are ok as long as you apologize publicly.

And the second, more heinous, one, that if you’re a student athlete you get special privileges and second chances that wouldn’t be afforded to any other student.

That’s way worse to me, I see the potential value in a public apology. Although I think the message it sends is disappointing. However, the rabbis point emphasizing not ruining these two lives reeks to me of affording them greater privileges because of their status in the student athlete ecosystem.

This isn’t a new phenomena, there's been scores of examples of student athletes receiving lax punishments in comparison to others because of their status in the university.

ESPN put it nicely in their linked report above on athlete crime,

Gainesville's Officer Tobias said "everyone" is at fault for athletes having such leverage.

"It's the fault of the athletes, it's the fault of the victims, it's the fault of society, it's the fault of the media, because everyone paints this picture and holds athletes up on a pedestal sometimes and we all are making them invincible," he said. "The fans are making them invincible, and the victims themselves, they look up to them at the same time. So to think that they can be victimized by this person is sometimes a reach for them.”

Being in the business of cutting athletes' second chances, without any sort of punishment, does a disservice to everyone.

In this case, there was punishment but it’s murky. The hockey player was dismissed from the team, but only after over a month and only when it seemingly was about to become public. There’s no record of the lacrosse player receiving any punishment, and the university has not commented on the matter.

To go back to the rabbi's comments again, the other one that sticks out is the, “We don’t just cancel people.” Harkening back to our societal reckoning with cancel culture.

That’s a problem though, punishment for a crime is not canceling someone. There’s a difference between a perceived cancellation and having people own up to, accept responsibility, and ultimately if decided be punished for their actions. Sure they were drunk, and sure they’re young, but that’s absolutely no excuse for not facing real consequences for their actions.

It must have been awkward for them to stand-up at a Shabbat dinner and apologize, but it’s also the absolute bare minimum. It also was their idea, from once again The Michigan Daily,

According to Klahr, Druskinis and Minturn asked to attend a Shabbat dinner at the JRC on Sept. 8, where they apologized for their actions in front of a large crowd of students attending the dinner.

Perhaps I’m wrong and deeply cynical, but that just doesn’t seem like something they thought of out-of-the-blue. I wonder if instead it was their lawyers, or coaches, or administrators strong suggestions that let them to valiantly stand up and apologize. Also of note that it was weeks before they were publicly identified, or publicly faced any discipline.

A punishment, filing of charges, or going public is not cancellation or against the Jewish ethos of forgiveness, it’s a very basic standard that we all should abide by. In a very real sense if you commit a hate crime, which spray painting slurs on a Jewish center is, you should face consequences for your actions.

If it comes out that the University of Michigan intentionally tried to bury this, which the month-long delay and seeming lack of punishment suggests, they should also have to face the music.

(I have FOIA-requested all documents related to the case from the University of Michigan, but University compliance offices move very slowly when they want to.)

Hate crimes aren’t mistakes. Drunkenness isn’t some magic carte blanche excuse. The people at the Jewish center, the LGBTQ+ community, and Michigan students deserve better than this. It’s disappointing that the Rabbi and the Administration have been so tight-lipped and overlooking this, and it doesn’t serve anyone except two people who need to be responsible for their mistakes. 

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