Today, I go off on states some more
You probably know why
The other day I was asked by a reader when I was going to get an editor, the answer of course is never. If you want to read a well written newsletter go to the new yorker or something. If you want to read mildly coherent ramblings by a political crazed young Jewish man (*With as you should know a BA in Political Science) please read further.
Idiot of the day
Yesterday, I saw Rep. Niraj Antani at Einstein Brother’s Bagels downtown. For those of you who don’t know, he’s the sponsor of Ohio’s newest abortion bill. This bill would have doctor’s inform women during an abortion procedure that it all can be reversed instantly with a pill. Shockingly the pill hasn’t been approved by the FDA and everyone who’s anyone says this is a lie. What a joke.
Here’s Niraj and esteemed POS Mike Pence (please read the amazing backstory of this)
Needless to say, I left Einstein’s as fast as possible, after I got my delicious hazelnut coffee. This has nothing to do with the rest of the piece, I just wanted everyone to know. Name and shame folks.
The South
The other day, I talked in-depth about how much I really really don’t want to get drafted. As naive as I was it looks like we’re in yet another war. This war being the war of, “jesus christ why are you all having a dick waving competition to see who can have the absolute worst fucking laws”.
It turns out these geniuses have cracked the code, your god will definitely love you if you put women in your state in dangerous life-threatening situations if they chose to take agency over themselves. Or, toss them in jail.
[Editor’s note: if you didn’t vote for her because, “hillary is big mean,” or whatever, you are directly complicit in this.]
By these geniuses, I of course am referring to most of the noted, brilliant states in the South. Alabama, Georgia, Louisiana, and more are all working towards pretty much full-on abortion bans. And look, I’m just gonna say it, I really really hate the South. We had a whole civil war over how shitty these people are. They were slave owners, they’re regressive, they were Jim Crow and the KKK, and they like sweet tea???
Instead of say investing in education to try to get people lifted out of cyclical poverty, or any of the other measures we know that can help, the South’s brilliant legislators would rather ban a thing that doesn’t affect them until their mistress’ get pregnant.
I’ve probably talked about abortion way to much in this week of news-lettering, but you know it’s pretty fucking important. And, rather than getting kicked out of Einstein’s for yelling at Mr. Antani and forfeiting my rights to delicious hazelnut coffee, I’d rather just vent here.
Fast times at vape high
The Ohio Vapor Trade Association, which represents stand-alone vape stores, is dead set against the provision. The trade association opposes how the proposal expands the definition of “tobacco product” to include vapor products and other electronic smoking devices, such as hookahs.
This beautiful quote is from Cleveland.com about raising the tobacco age to 21. I’m not even here to shit on that, I think it’s hilarious and wanted to show everyone. Juuls totally aren't tobacco products…right guys? That’s as believable as Juul’s claim that they don’t market to kids.
I’m not here to have a discussion on vaping, and I left my fedora at home, but we all know it definitely has to be bad for you. In 20 years when the studies come out on this I just hope that second-hand vapor intake doesn't cause lung cancer. If so, the human race might as well just pack it up.
Trivia
Last night me and my mother won Wednesday trivia for the third straight week. Big gets included me figuring out an anagram of, “Elizabeth Olsen,” off of the clue, “actresses,” despite not having a clue who she is. Tonight’s trivia is from 8-10 PM at the venerable District PourHouse on campus, I will gladly give any readers who show up a sip of my beer.
New
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